Kristen Sublette

Is this just another chapter in the “Waiting for my life to start” book? Will I ever figure out how to set myself free of this cage? I want to live my life. I want to know what to do. I want to live my life on purpose. I want to be somebody.

I can’t continue to be a lost soul. I crave a life I am not living. I crave creating. I crave beauty, art, music, rodeos, the wild west, and fashion. I look around me. My slice of country living, surrounded by a hundred million people. The city life is not mine. This is not mine. It is not the life I signed up for, yet here I am, caged.

I crave a new chapter of life the way I craved cigarettes. I’m an addict in my own right. My compulsions are hidden beneath the surface of my broken skin. I am addicted to the feeling of a life I am not LIVING.

Is this circumstance? Am I not able to change and defeat myself? Will I always be full of this craving, unable to satisfy myself?

I can feel my talent. It is a rolling boil within me that I can no longer contend with. I cannot diminish my need to create any longer.

I am paralyzed with the unknowing. I don’t know how, I don’t know what, I can’t fucking take this. It is time for me to let this creative energy explode. I crave identity and culture, I have to create this for myself.

Life is fleeting and I cannot stand idle watching my horse run right by me. It’s time for me to get on and let her buck.